A new beginning, starting with Why

In April I got the notice that the department within Sanoma I work for would no longer exist, starting July 1st. Me, and a dozen co-workers have been thanked for our services. It’s been a hectic and weird few months as a result.

I want to stress that this event couldn’t have come at a better moment in time for me. I’ve been at Sanoma for over 11 years but the last year has been one of revelation and personal transformation. At the root cause, the Agile Expert program I’ve been following for the last year.

Chrysalis
It’s quite astounding what a training can do for you. It doesn’t just give you a new bag of tools to use; it also gives you the opportunity to grow. Add the fact that you train coaching skills on each other, and this personal growth takes off like a rocket aiming for the moon.

Indeed, this training has been the cocoon to my chrysalis, which resulted in a revelation near the end of the program. For years now I’ve been mostly focussed on leading Scrum teams. As time went on, I wanted more. I wanted to help co-workers get better at Scrum, help the organisation see its value, discuss at lengths on how to improve the way we do things. The revelation for me wasn’t that I like Scrum or Agile values; for the first time it dawned on me why I do, which also happens to be the reason why I felt it was time to move on from Sanoma.

Start with Why
Before all of this happened I got the book “Start with Why” from Simon Sinek. It’s a book I can truly recommend reading to anyone. It had been recommended reading material for my Agile Expert Program and I got it gifted from the Sanoma Academy. I’m not a fast reader by any means, but seeing I had a lot of free time on my hands I decided to finish some of my reading backlog.

Start with Why is about what Simon calls the Golden Circle, which starts with WHY we do things, HOW we try to achieve them and WHAT the results are. His message is that if these are in balance great things can happen. The book is full of examples of (un)successful business, leaders such as JFK and Martin Luther King Jr. and explaining in terms of the Golden Circle why they are enjoying the backing that they are getting.

Revolution
Before I finished the book and during the last sessions of the training something of this message started to resonate: I had lost my WHY. I had been project manager for so long, and only focussed on the WHAT, that my WHY had become diffuse. I used to have fire in my steps when doing projects, but it was gone now. The enjoyment I got out of my work was working with Scrum teams as a mentor and coach, it was to give training sessions to people wanting to learn more about Scrum. At the end I did these things extracurricular, while the old Project Management world was trying to suck me back in. It was at the second last training session that it hit me: I was feeling miserable.

At that very moment a few things happened.

First, I made the resolution to change my situation; either my employer would help me find a place within the organisation where I can employ that which I am passionate about for the good of the company, or I would find another organisation that would grant me such a position.

Second, I wanted to discover my WHY. My love for Scrum and Agile weren’t the answers, they were the symptoms, a spark that lit a dormant fire within me. In order to preserve that flame and understand what keeps it going, I would have to discover what makes me get up out of bed, make long hours and excites me.

My WHY
It took me a little while longer to really get a sense of what motivates me. In reality, I felt drained from the last month at the job. In a sense it felt in part like I was stumbling towards the light at the end of a seemingly long tunnel. The first 2 weeks after that I felt drained and a bit beat down.

But picking up the book and reading on, I realised I needed to look back to find the answer (in the metaphor of the bow and arrow, used in the book). And when I looked back I found that with everything I did and loved it was helping others find happiness in some way.

In projects my gratification came from delivering a product, which helped achieve someone’s goal or dream. When I was system engineer, it was to solve problems and make things work (again). Sure, the acquisition of knowledge and discovery were exciting, but in the end it had to have benefit for someone.

Going back even further, I remember wanting to become a lawyer (thanks to Law and Order) or a doctor, both not particularly sexy jobs, but ones where you help others (get justice or healthy).

Even after I’d left Sanoma and came back for my sending-off drinks, my last Scrum team showed the last sprint result with pride; they’d broken a new record for performance and team happiness. I was excited for them and I felt joy.

A new Beginning
Before I went on my leave an old class mate of mine contacted me after reading I would be out of a job soon. He had started working at the Chamber of Commerce and was facing a real challenge. They had tried to transform towards an Agile way of working but it hadn’t really come off the ground. A one hour meeting lasted 2,5 hours and shortly thereafter followed by a trip to their place.

My new job will be to assist them as an Agile Coach starting in the coming months. My goal will to assist them in their transformation and and by doing so hopefully make the job of those people working there more enjoyable, help the organisation achieve their goals and as a result make everyone feel their success.

And I won’t do this because it’s the best paying job (although it’s good) or the most prestigious one. I simply feel that this organisation can benefit the most of my WHY and in return allow me to be passionate again about what I do.